So I'm gonna be honest with you. For most of grade 9, I basically didn't talk to my teachers unless they talked to me first. I'd sit in class, try to understand stuff, and when I didn't get it, I'd just... pretend I did. Sounds dumb now, but back then I thought asking questions would make me look stupid in front of everyone. My marks weren't terrible, but they weren't great either. I was getting like C's and B's when I knew I could do better.

Then grade 10 started and something changed. Not because I suddenly got braver or smarter, but because I failed my first math test pretty bad. Like, 48 percent bad. My parents weren't super mad, but they were disappointed, which honestly felt worse. My mom said something that stuck with me. She said teachers in Canada want you to ask questions because that's literally their job. They're not gonna think you're dumb for not understanding. That's why they're there.

I still didn't believe it completely, but I was desperate enough to try. What happened next actually changed how I felt about school. It wasn't some magic thing where suddenly everything became easy. But I started getting better marks, understanding more stuff, and weirdly, I actually started liking some of my classes. Not all of them, let's be real, but some.

This is basically what I learned about talking to teachers and understanding them better. Some of it might sound obvious now, but when you're in grade 10 and nervous, nothing feels obvious. I'm writing this because maybe it'll help someone else who's in the same spot I was.

The First Question Is Always The Hardest

Okay so the first time I actually raised my hand to ask a question in math class, my heart was beating so fast. I waited until near the end of class because I figured fewer people would be paying attention. Mr. Peterson was explaining quadratic equations and I literally had no idea what was happening. I raised my hand and asked him to explain the formula again.

You know what happened? Nothing bad. He just explained it again, using different words. And then he asked if anyone else was confused, and like three other people raised their hands. That was when I realized something important. Other people don't understand stuff either. They're just better at hiding it, or they're also too scared to ask. In Canadian schools especially, teachers actually expect questions. It's part of how they know if they're teaching well or not.

After that first question, asking more got easier. Not easy, but easier. I learned that the longer you wait in class to ask something, the harder it gets because you start overthinking it. Now I try to ask right when I'm confused instead of waiting. Sometimes I mess up the question and don't even ask it right, but teachers usually understand what you're trying to figure out anyway.

What Actually Helped Me Ask Questions

• I wrote down my question first in my notebook so I wouldn't forget it or mess it up when speaking
• I asked questions near the end of explanations instead of interrupting in the middle
• I said stuff like "Can you explain the part about..." instead of just "I don't get it"
• I stopped caring if my question sounded dumb because usually it wasn't dumb at all

Going To See Teachers Outside Class Changed Everything

This was the big one for me. After I started asking questions in class, my English teacher Ms. Chen told me I should come see her during lunch or after school if I needed more help with the essay we were writing. I was like, isn't that annoying for teachers? Don't they want their breaks? But she said that's literally what those times are for.

So I went one lunch period. It was just me and her in the classroom. She had way more time to explain stuff about thesis statements and how to structure arguments. Without thirty other kids around, I could ask as many questions as I needed without feeling like I was wasting everyone's time. She also explained things in a more relaxed way, not like she was teaching a whole class.

That essay? I got a B plus on it. Before that, I was getting C's on writing assignments. The difference was just understanding what the teacher actually wanted. In class, when she said "analyze the theme," I thought that meant summarize the story. When I asked her one-on-one, she explained that analyze means explain WHY the author made certain choices and what they mean. That's completely different from summarizing.

Most teachers in Ontario schools have office hours or times when students can come for extra help. Some schools even have homework clubs where teachers stay after school. I started going to math help sessions twice a week, and my mark went from a C to a B in like two months. It's not because I got smarter. It's because I finally understood what I was supposed to be learning.

Understanding What Teachers Actually Want From You

This sounds obvious but it took me forever to figure out. Every teacher wants something slightly different, and if you don't know what that is, you're basically guessing on every assignment. My science teacher Mr. Kumar wanted detailed lab reports with every single step written out. My history teacher wanted us to make arguments and take positions, not just list facts. My French teacher cared a lot about proper grammar even if our vocabulary was limited.

I learned to just ask teachers directly what they were looking for. Like, "What's the most important thing you want to see in this project?" or "What makes an A assignment different from a B assignment in your class?" Most teachers will actually tell you. They're not trying to keep it a secret. They want you to do well because it makes their job easier and more satisfying.

Another thing I figured out is that teachers really appreciate effort. Even if you don't get something right away, if they see you're trying and asking questions and coming for help, they notice. When report cards came, my teachers wrote comments about how I was "showing initiative" and "seeking help when needed." That stuff matters for your overall grade and for references later.

Questions That Actually Help You Understand Expectations

• "Can you show me an example of what a good answer looks like?"
• "What's the main thing you're looking for in this assignment?"
• "I did this part, but I'm not sure if I'm on the right track. Can you check it?"
• "How much detail do you want us to include?"
• "Is it better to focus on this part or that part?"

Email Changed The Game For Me

Okay so sometimes asking questions in person is just too hard or the timing doesn't work. That's when I started using email. At first I thought emailing teachers was weird or too formal, but it's actually super normal. All my teachers have school email addresses and they check them regularly.

The good thing about email is you can take time to write out your question properly. You don't have to worry about saying it wrong or forgetting what you wanted to ask. You can also email teachers when you're doing homework at night and get stuck on something. Usually they respond by the next day, sometimes even the same evening.

I learned to make my emails clear and specific. Instead of just saying "I don't understand the homework," I'd say something like "I'm working on question 5 on page 87, and I don't understand how to find the slope when both points are negative. Can you explain that part?" Teachers respond way better to specific questions because they know exactly how to help you.

Also, I always tried to be polite in emails. Starting with "Hi Mr. Kumar" or "Hello Ms. Chen" and ending with "Thank you" just makes the whole thing feel more respectful. Teachers are more likely to help you when you're polite, which honestly makes sense. It's the same as with anyone else.

Teachers Are Actually Regular People

This might sound dumb but I used to think of teachers as like, these authority figures who were completely different from regular people. But once I started talking to them more, I realized they're just adults with jobs. They have good days and bad days. They get tired. They make jokes. Some of them are really into sports or video games or whatever.

My math teacher Mr. Peterson is really into hockey and sometimes before class we'd talk about the Leafs game from the night before. That made the whole class feel less intimidating. My English teacher loves the same book series I'm reading, so sometimes we'd talk about that. These little conversations made it way easier to ask them questions about schoolwork because I stopped seeing them as these scary figures.

Understanding that teachers are regular people also helped me understand when they were having a bad day. If a teacher seemed stressed or short with answers, it usually wasn't about me. Maybe they had a rough morning or had to deal with difficult stuff. Just like how I have bad days where I don't feel like talking to anyone, teachers have those days too.

The other thing is that teachers actually care about whether you succeed. It's not just their job. Most of them became teachers because they like helping people learn. When you do well, they feel good about it. When you're struggling and won't ask for help, it's frustrating for them because they want to help but can't if they don't know you need it.

What I Wish I Knew In Grade 9

Looking back now, I wasted so much time in grade 9 being scared to talk to teachers. My marks were okay but they could have been better. More importantly, I was stressed all the time because I didn't understand stuff and was too nervous to ask. That's a terrible way to spend a year of school.

If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be that asking questions doesn't make you look dumb. It makes you look like someone who actually cares about learning and understanding. Teachers respect that way more than students who just sit quietly and pretend to understand everything.

The other thing I'd tell myself is that teachers in Canada are generally really approachable. The education system here is built around students asking questions and getting help. It's not like some places where you're just expected to figure everything out on your own. Teachers have office hours, schools have homework clubs, there are tons of resources. You just have to actually use them.

Now in grade 10, I ask questions in basically every class. Sometimes multiple questions. I go see teachers during lunch probably once or twice a week. I email them when I'm stuck on homework. And you know what? My marks are way better. I'm getting mostly B's and A's now. But more than that, I actually understand what I'm learning instead of just memorizing stuff for tests and forgetting it right after.

Starting Is The Hardest Part

If you're reading this and you're in the same position I was in last year, just try asking one question. That's it. One question in one class. It doesn't have to be a big complicated question. It can be something simple like "Can you repeat that?" or "Can you explain this part again?" Just raise your hand and ask.

After that first question, the next one gets easier. And the one after that gets even easier. Eventually, asking questions just becomes normal. You stop worrying about what other people think because you realize everyone else has questions too. They're just not asking them either.

Understanding your teachers better isn't about becoming best friends with them or anything like that. It's about communication. It's about asking when you don't understand. It's about going for extra help when you need it. It's about reading the rubrics and understanding what they actually want from you. All of this stuff is way simpler than it seems when you're too nervous to try.

Your marks will probably get better. You'll definitely feel less stressed. And school might even become less terrible. It's still school, so it's never gonna be amazing all the time, but at least you'll understand what's happening and feel like you have some control over your own learning. That makes a huge difference.